Here’s my best advice for a new, first time mom.

If you are pregnant or a new mom, this is for you!

Try to enjoy the journey

I know everyone says it and it can be annoying, because being pregnant and having a newborn is HARD. I get it – everything is new and scary. You don’t know what to expect and what’s “normal!” But truly, try to choose to enjoy each season and the journey, because once it’s gone, it’s gone. Babies grow up SO fast and each stage only lasts a few weeks/months! I didn’t realize how quickly they change. I wish I hadn’t spent so much time worrying while I was pregnant. “Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but you don’t get anywhere.” PPD and PPA are real though, so take care of yourself and get support if needed!

It’s only a season

Also keep this in mind when you’re not sleeping or when you’re frustrated with a crying baby. “It’s only a season” and it won’t be like this forever! Babies change so much month by month. Every baby is different. You may have an “easy” baby that sleeps through the night. You might not. But it should get easier each month!

Another thing to remember is “they’re not giving you a hard time, they’re having a hard time.” When it’s 3:00am and you’ve been up 8 times in the night and all you want to do is sleep but you’re standing there rocking your screaming baby thinking “why are they giving me such a hard time?” Shift your focus and say this to yourself: “they’re not giving me a hard time, they’re having a hard time.” Remember – they don’t know anything and can’t do anything! Literally helpless and need you. All they were familiar with was the inside of your belly. Now they are in a bassinet in a swaddle and they might be scared, hungry, overtired, or have a wet diaper! Try to put yourself in their shoes and it will ease some of the frustration. Pray for grace and patience! There’s always coffee waiting for you in the morning 🙂

In my experience, it started getting easier after 5 months and I felt a lot better after a year.

Healing takes time

It took my body a solid 15-20 months to feel like myself again. That was due to some underlying health issues that I didn’t know about, and I had a C section. But I feel mentally and physically so much better and it took almost 2 years!! Other people “bounce back” what seems like immediately and are back to looking their pre pregnancy self after just a few weeks. Everyone is different and everyone has different struggles. It’s so hard not to compare. Try to find some other moms in the same stage as you.

Give yourself the time and grace to recover and know that it might take a long time. Set your expectations so you’re realistic about what could happen.

Use the notes app on your phone

Use the notes app on your phone to write down your birth story as it’s happening. You won’t remember everything afterwards! I wrote down what time it was and what was happening. Read my birth story here.

Also use your notes app to record what happens each month & baby milestones. I also recorded some details about my recovery so I could remember. I wrote some of it in my son’s journal for him, and each month that goes by I add to the note on my phone and write things like “has 5 teeth, took steps, said “mama,” first haircut, what TV shows he likes, etc.

Prioritize self care

Prioritize self care more than ever. A happy parent = a happy baby
Plan 1 thing per week just for you. If you’re on a budget, it doesn’t have to cost a lot. Here’s some ideas:

• Take a bubble bath

• Have a glass of wine

• Read a book that brings you joy

• Get your nails done

• Schedule a massage

• Meet with a girlfriend for coffee

• Watch your favorite movie

• Take a walk in nature

• Buy fresh flowers

• Check out my blog post of self care ideas arranged by category!

When you’re in the thick of it, it can be hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But remember that everything is just a season and it gets better (and more fun) each month! Don’t isolate yourself. Find mom friends. If you don’t have any, reach out and start a group!

I was the first of my friends to have a baby, and it was during Covid so I was extremely isolated. My own husband couldn’t even come to my doctor’s appointments! The world was shut down, and no one knew or could relate to what I was going through. It was HARD. Mentally, physically, and emotionally.

If you are lonely, you can either throw a pity party, or take matters into your own hands & go find your tribe. The choice is yours. If you don’t have a group of supportive friends or family, go out and find them! There’s probably a bunch of other moms in your same position feeling the same way!

Here’s some places to look:

• Reach out to other pregnant friends/acquaintances

• If you have a neighborhood Facebook page, post on there and ask if there’s other new mamas. I started a monthly meetup for new moms in my neighborhood called “Moms & Mimosas” and have met some great friends through it!

• Social media – Tik Tok, local Facebook moms groups, Instagram

You’ve got this and God chose YOU to be your baby’s mom!